Why do babies cry

A baby's cry is very unpleasant sound especially for a mother. A mother can't hear her child crying. Infact, there are scientific studies that explains this behavior. 

But do you know crying in babies is not a sign of just pain. It is their language. This is the only way they can communicate with their surroundings. For instance, babies cry when they need attention, when they want to be cuddled, when they are hungry, when they are in pain e.g. diaper rash, itching, mosquito bite or any other illenss, when they need nappy change, when they want to sleep or simply to notify that they are awake etc. etc. In fact, this list is very long because crying is the only language they know.   

 A mother and child's relation is very beautiful and it can never be described in words. I don't know how but a mother has strong intuition why her baby is crying and most of the time she is right. Once a doctor told me to give my baby medicine if he is in pain and I asked how would I know if he is in pain or not and his answer was bacha dard mein ho aur maa ko pata na chale aisa to ho ni sakta (it is not possible that baby is in pain and mother doesn't know) so there is definitely a mysterious science behind this.

Many people say that baby cries for no reason and I believe it is completely wrong. There is definitely some reason behind their cries. Sometimes babies cry when they feel insecure and it  is often misinterpreted as cranky baby who cries with no reason. This kind of reasoning is absolutely rubbish in my opinion. 

Many new born babies cry more in the evening hours. In fact, in the evening, they take breast feed very frequently. Mostly it is because of colic pain that starts in evening hours which makes them uncomfortable and insecure. Staying at breast makes it sure that they are with their mother. So breastfeeding is not just feeding process it is an emotional journey and it enhances bonding between mother and child. After the womb, mother's breast is the most secure place for a new born.

So next time your baby cries, don't panic, try to decode it.  Just go by your intuition. You may take sometime to decode initially but eventually you will do it. But if for some reason your baby in inconsolably crying and nothing sooths him, you should contact your pediatrician.

 

Here I would like to share a story with you. Once my baby had been crying for long time. We kept him in lap all the time, he was settled for sometime but after sometime he again started crying. I fed him multiple times, even that didn't work and he finally started crying loudly. Then I and my husband solved this mystery. He was feeling hot. We had made him wear new clothes that were really warm for him. As soon as we changed his clothes he started smiling. We solved such mysteries many times and we always found some reason behind his cries. There are very few instances when he cried without reason (I mean we couldn't decode it or were not sure if we guessed it right). 

Sometimes babies cry very hard in middle of night. They will not stop crying whatever you do. I think it happens because of some nightmare. You just have to awake them from sleep and keep them close to your skin. Skin to skin contact make babies feel secure. 

If baby is happy in your lap, take him in lap. He needs your warmth and love. If he wants to be rocked, rock him. He might be bored of lying on bed. It might seem very tiring and inconvenient but trust me children grow in no time and you are going to miss all these moments. My son is just 9.5 month old and I am already missing his toothless smile. So spend as much time as possible with your child. Pay attention to his cries. They don't cry without reason.

In nutshell, every cry of baby has some meaning. Now it is up to you how good you are in decoding it. 

 

A quick tip : 

To avoid diaper rash, always apply diaper rash cream or extra virgin coconut oil before putting diaper. Touchwood, my baby never had diaper rash not even once in these 9.5 months and i think reason is that I am religiously using these 2 products. 

Your little one and sleep

Making a baby sleep is not less than a project; especially for new parents. And parents have to take up this project multiple times in a day. So we have come up with few suggestions or recommendations that worked for us. You can also try these..

• Many new parents think that babies are afraid of dark. So they use a dim light for baby all the night. We also did the same but gradually we learned that light is not for babies but for parents so that they can check on baby and they don't hurt baby in sleep. Babies are not afraid of dark by default (of course with age, this fear can develop because of some horror story etc.). In fact, they are used to living in the dark inside womb. So if your baby is not sleeping, try making room pitch dark. It should be so dark that you can't see each other's face. This technique has worked for us many times. We use smart bulb for this purpose as it can be controlled by mobile phones.

• Play white noise in background. check this video Some babies sleeps really well in white noise. You can use amazon alexa to play white noise since it is voice controlled which makes it easier to use for parents.

• Try swaddling for babies of age 2 month or younger. You must have seen in hospital that nurses neatly wrap babies in a cloth. This is nothing but swaddling. check this video on swaddling

• Swaddling is not a modern but old age technique to make babies sleep. As I mentioned earlier, babies take time to adapt to the outside world. Inside the womb, babies live in a very small space and they are used to it. So swaddling is a technique to make baby feel safe and secure by wrapping them in a cloth. 

• Don't use swaddling for child elder than 2 months because around this age, they learn to start roll, explore their body part etc. 

• You can use cotton cloth for swaddling or there are swaddling clothes available online. 

• Swaddling should be done very carefully. Don't wrap child too tightly. So watch above video carefully. 

• It is a myth that more tired baby is more easily she will fall asleep. If they are overtired, it will take them longer to sleep. So catch your baby's sleeping cues e.g. if she is rubbing her eyes, not very active, yawning etc. etc.

• Don't try to sleep train a baby for first 3 months of  their life. First 3 months of a baby is called 4th trimester because it takes time for baby to adjust to the outside world and inside womb they are not aware of day and night concept. In fact, you might have observed that babies in womb are most active in night. So expecting a new born to sleep in night is injustice to them. My baby started to sleep for whole night after ~2.5 months. He used to wake up for feed but stopped playing in night after 2,5 months. You can start sleep training your kid after 3 months. A recommendation to sleep train your child is here :

• Start teaching her the difference between day and night e.g. in the day, let natural light come into the room or take your child in the sunlight for sometime. Start dimming the light from evening.

• Expecting babies to sleep whole night without feed is too much for them. It is a milestone that kids meet around 1.5-2.5 years of age. Don't compare your child with other as every child is different.

• Don't change diaper in night. Change their diaper just before putting them to sleep and remove it as soon as they wake up if you are concerned about diaper rash. 

• We are not a supporter of cry out method i.e. let baby cry and she will fall asleep by herself. So I wouldn't recommend this approach. This approach may work for some parents but can negatively impact on their emotional health. There was a phase when my son used to wake up every half an hour and we attended him every time. Now (when he is ~9 month old), he is getting better. sometimes he sleep continuously for 5-6 hour. So not consoling your kid, thinking that he will be addicted to it, is just a myth. They are little humans who need your love, care and affection. So please don't be so harsh to them.

• Babies do wake up in night for multiple reasons e.g. they are feeling cold or warm, have done potty which is irritating them, have some illness etc. etc. Do check for these things if you think your baby is waking up more than usual. 

• Holding baby for naps is completely ok. If your baby is resisting her nap, it is ok to hold in your lap. Children need human touch because they have stayed in womb for 9 months (in touch of her mother). Don't worry, you are not spoiling them. They will not be used to it. Sometimes, I used to hold our son for as long as 2 hour for nap but he has not got used to it. With time, his sleeping routine is improving. 

• Bear with baby during Sleep regression. Sleep regression is a phase of about 2-4 weeks when babies wake up more than often or having hard time to sleep who otherwise sleeps well. 

• sleep regression mostly happen around 4, 8 and 12 month of age.

• sleep regression may happen because of some major milestones e.g. crawling, walking, speaking etc. etc. or growth spurt.

• Not all children go through sleep regression. We were lucky that our son didn't have 4th and 8th month sleep regression. 12th month is still in queue (will keep you posted.)

• If your baby does not sleep on bed/couch but in your arms, we have few hacks for you. This mostly happens in winter. 
• wrap/cover your child in a sheet such that no body part touches the bed/couch when you put her on bed because they sense the temperature difference when you put them on bed. By doing so, they will not feel temperature difference.

• Put them on bed very slowly or very fast so that they can't feel it. We have used both approaches and it works.

• If after putting her on bed, she wakes up or start crying. breastfeed her or if your baby is on  FM, offer her bottle. I am a breastfeeding mom so this technique works well for us. 

• Mosquitoes may irritate your sleeping child and disturb her sleep so take care of it. Check this post to protect your child from mosquitoes

• Understand baby  nap schedule as per her age. Here is the chart. 

2-3-4 pattern means two hours after your baby wakes for the day, you put them down for their first nap. Three hours after that nap ends, you put them down for their second nap. Then 4 hours after that 2nd nap ends, you'd put them down for bed. Taking an example, let us say baby wakes up at 8am.

1. Put her down to sleep at 10am (after 2 hours of wake)
2. say she wakes up at 11:30am
3. Again put her to sleep at 2:30pm (after 3 hours)
4. Say she wakes up at 4:30pm
5. put her down for bed at 8:30

I won't say that this routine/chart works perfectly for all children as all babies are different but with this schedule you would have idea that when you should try to sleep your child. e.g. my son in 9 month old. He follows mostly 3-3-4 pattern but at times he hardly takes 1 nap. This schedule has helped me a lot otherwise I was always confused when my child should be sleeping or when should I be trying etc. etc.

You can join facebook group given in references for any specific sleeping related query or you can comment here. 

References:

Gentle baby sleep India FB Group